Who or Whom?

by Craig Shrives
The Quick Answer
What is the difference between "who" and "whom"?

"Who" is like "he" because it is used as the subject of a verb. For example:
  • Who likes milk in tea?
  • (Compare this to "He likes milk in tea.")
"Whom" is like "him" because it is used as an object. (It is never the subject of a verb.) For example:
  • Sarah saw whom on the bus?
  • (Compare this to "Sarah saw him on the bus.")
the difference between who and whom

The Difference between "Who" and "Whom"

In order to understand the difference between "who" and "whom," you must know the difference between the subject of a verb and the object of a verb. If you're new to grammar and don't know what these terms mean, don't worry. They're simpler than they sound, and you already deal with subjects and objects effectively (even if you don't know you do).

"Who" Is the Subject of a Verb

The word "who" can only be used when it is the subject of a verb. This just means it is like the words "I," "he," "she," "we," and "they." Just like "who," these words are used as subjects.

Confusing "who/whom" is no different to confusing pairings like "I/me" or "he/him." Here they all are in a table:
Subjective PronounObjective Pronoun
IMe
YouYou
He / She / ItHim / Her / It
WeUs
YouYou
TheyThem
WhoWhom
What Is the Subject of a Verb?

Verbs are doing words (e.g., to dance, to sit, to fly, to think).

The subject of a verb is the person or thing doing the verb. For example:
  • Peter flies to Moscow on Tuesdays.
  • ("Peter" is the subject of the verb "to fly.")
  • Helen's boss drinks a lot of coffee.
  • ("Helen's boss" is the subject of the verb "to drink.")

A Neat Trick for Spotting "Who"

Substitute "who" with the word "he." If that part of the sentence still makes sense, then "who" is almost certainly correct. For example:
  • Who paid for the meal?
  • He paid for the meal.
  • (As "he" sounds okay, "who" must be correct.)

  • I have never seen the man who lives in the hut.
  • (As "he" lives in the hut" sounds okay, "who" must be correct.)

  • I wonder who is in charge.
  • (As "he is in charge" sounds okay, "who" must be correct.)

  • Sarah gave the tickets to who?
  • (As "gave the tickets to he" sounds wrong, "who" must be wrong. This should be "gave the tickets to whom?".)
This trick works because "who" and "he" are used as the subjects of verbs. They are said to be in the subjective case.

"Who" = "They"

In order to perform this trick for plurals, you must substitute "who" with the word "they."
  • I met the people who were on the plane.
  • (As "they were on the plane" is okay, "who" must be correct.)

A Neat Trick for Spotting "Whom"

Substitute "whom" with the word "him" (or "them" for plurals). If that part of the sentence still makes sense, then "whom" is almost certainly correct.
  • Sarah gave the tickets to whom?
  • (As "Sarah gave the tickets to him" sounds okay, "whom" must be correct.)
  • The witness saw four boys, one of whom had a limp.
  • (As "one of them" sounds okay, "whom" must be correct.)

Don't Get it? Use "Who"

If you're unsure which to use, use "who." Firstly, it is much more common than "whom." Secondly, the use of "whom" is considered by many to be on its last legs in English, and some sources already describe "whom" as obsolete.

You might have noticed that the pronouns "you" and "it" make no distinction between being a subject or an object, and "who" appears to be heading in that direction too.

Look at this example:
  • Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? (Comedian Groucho Marx)
  • (This quote by Groucho Marx is incorrect. It should start "Whom are you going to believe." However, "whom" sounds a bit contrived, don't you think?)

Examples of "Who" and "Whom" in Sentences

Here are some examples of "who" and "whom" in sentences:
  • Who paid for the meal?
  • ("Who" is the subject of the verb "to pay.")
  • I have not seen the man who lives in the hut by the beach for a week.
  • ("Who" is the subject of the verb "to live.")
  • I wonder who is in charge.
  • ("Who" is the subject of the verb "to be," i.e., "who is.")
  • Sarah gave the tickets to who?
  • (This is wrong. "Sarah" is the subject of "gave." "Who" is not the subject of any verb. Therefore, you cannot use "who." It should be "whom." This is like saying "Sarah gave the tickets to he.")
  • Do you know the boy who rang the bell?
  • ("Who" is the subject of "rang.")

Real Life Examples of People Using "Whom" Incorrectly

Often, you have to look closely at your sentence to see whether who is the subject of a verb. Here are two real-life examples of people getting it wrong:
  • If you notice any faulty office equipment or hazards, please report them to your supervisor whom will notify the management.
  • (This is wrong. It should be "who will notify the management".)
Here is a slightly more complicated example from a TV magazine. The use of "whom" is incorrect because it is the subject of "existed."

whom mistake
(This should be "...hunt for a madman who the authorities refused to admit existed.")

"Whom" Is Never the Subject of a Verb

"Whom" is like "him," "her," and "them" because it is never the subject of a verb. "Whom" is an object. For example:

Examples of "Whom" in Sentences

  • Claire kissed whom yesterday?
  • (Here, "whom" is the direct object of the verb "kissed.")
  • You gave the parcel to whom?
  • (Here, "whom" is the indirect object of the verb "gave.")
  • You sat by whom all night?
  • (Here, "whom" is the object of the preposition "by.")
  • She is a wistful recluse whom lives near the river.
  • (Remember that "whom" cannot be the subject of a verb. This should be "who lives".)
If you can follow this conversation, then you understand "who" and "whom" and subjects and objects:
  • [Person A] John told Jackie your secret.
  • [Person B] Whom?
  • [Person A] John.
  • [Person B] No, I asked whom not who.
  • [Person A] Jackie.

"Whom" after Prepositions

Always use "whom" after prepositions. (Prepositions are words like "to," "with," "by," "on," "in," "near."). In the examples below, the prepositions are in bold.
  • You have a child by whom?
  • With whom did you see Janice?
  • That is the lady to whom I made the promise.
  • That is the lady whom I made the promise to.
  • (Some writers like to avoid ending a sentence in a preposition and construct their sentences like the one above. Remember that the preposition still governs "whom.")

A Joke That Misuses "Who"

Here is a joke from a student comic that misuses "who":

who whom joke
(It should be "Two hits to whom?")
Interactive Exercise
Here are three randomly selected questions from a larger exercise, which can be edited, printed to create an exercise worksheet, or sent via email to friends or students.

See Also

Take another test on the difference between who and whom What are pronouns? The object of a preposition