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Non-Binary Pronouns
What Are Non-Binary Pronouns?
The non-binary pronouns are "they," "them," and "their." When talking about someone who identifies as non-binary, use "they/them" (not "he/him" or "she/her"), and use "their" (not "his/her").Some people identify themselves as both male and female while others as neither male nor female. (The singer Sam Smith is a famous example.)
Described as "non-binary," many of those who do not identify as male or female prefer to use the pronoun "they" (and of course "their," "them," "theirs," "themself") instead of "he" or "she."
Occasionally, a non-binary person might ask you to use their name instead of a pronoun (e.g., "Sarah," "Sarah's," "Sarah's self") when talking about them. (I have bolded "about" because there is no issue if you're talking to them.)
Simple Guidance
The following rule will see you right in 95% of circumstances.he or she ![]() | they ![]() |
him or her ![]() | them ![]() |
his or her ![]() | their ![]() |
The pronouns only change when you're talking ABOUT one non-binary person.
Before we discuss the grammatical quirks, it is worth noting that this only affects you when you are talking about one non-binary person. It doesn't affect you if you are talking to a non-binary person, about yourself (if you are non-binary), or to several non-binary people.Table with Pronoun Changes for a Non-Binary Person
The table below shows where the changes occur.First Person Singular | I | me | my | mine | myself |
Second Person Singular | you | you | your | yours | yourself |
Third Person Singular |
Sarah |
Sarah |
Sarah's |
Sarah's |
Sarah self |
First Person Plural | we | us | our | ours | ourselves |
Second Person Plural | you | you | your | yours | yourselves |
Third Person Plural | they | them | their | theirs | themselves |
Grammatical Quirks
Here are two grammatical quirks associated with non-binary pronouns.(Quirk 1) "They" is plural, but the person's name isn't.
-
HeTheyisare takinghistheir exams tomorrow.
(This sounds natural because we have plurals throughout, i.e., "they," "are," and "their.")
- Jo is taking
histheir exams tomorrow.
(This sounds less natural. We now have two singulars ("Jo" and "is") with a plural ("their"). This example is correct though.)
- Anyone who forgets their passport will be sent home.
(*Quirk 2) Use "themself" instead of "themselves."
When referring to one non-binary person, use "themself" not "themselves." For example:-
SheTheyisare managingherselfthemself.
(The word "themself" is still not listed in many dictionaries. If you try to write "themself," your autocorrect will change it to "themselves." However, when using a reflexive pronoun for one non-binary person, you should use "themself.")
- You can do it yourself.
- You can do it yourselves.
- They can do it themself.
- They can do it themselves.
- If a student cheats, they will be dismissed.
- If students cheat, they will be dismissed.
The Emergence of Other Gender-Neutral Pronouns
You might also have noticed other gender-neutral pronouns appearing. "Ey," "per," "sie," "ve," and "zie" are all recently proposed alternatives to "he" or "she," but at present none is showing any signs of entering into common usage.A Test on Using Non-Binary Pronouns
Here is a test to help you with selecting the correct non-binary pronouns and associated verbs.Interactive Test
Your score:Click on each grey word and then select the correct non-binary version. (Be aware that some do not change.)
- When talking about someone who identifies as non-binary, use "they" and "them" (not "he/she" or "him/her"), and use "their" (not "his/her").
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